if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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