you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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