HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
