Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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