I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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