ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
