I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
