The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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