just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
