If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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