Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
