He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
