he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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