i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
