I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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