There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
