SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
