Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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