Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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