found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
