last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
