does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
