her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
