like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i now understand why vodka
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
