You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
