I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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