wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
