i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
