I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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