I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
