thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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