I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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