her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
