Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
