I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
