I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
