who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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