why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
