Well douche your snatch and let's go!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
