Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
