If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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