he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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