The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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