i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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