I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
