Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
