I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
