so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
