hotel room ftw
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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