I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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