I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
