I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
